


I’m Gonna Love You (Like I’m Gonna Lose You)

by BananaChef



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Declarations Of Love, Desk Sex, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Office Sex, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, POV Fox Mulder, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Cancer Arc (X-Files), Post-Episode: s05e01-02 Redux, Season/Series 05, Semi-Public Sex, Title from a Meghan Trainor Song, bc im a sentimental person dsjfh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29463912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChef/pseuds/BananaChef
Summary: It was Scully’s turn for a tear to run down her cheek. Her breath hitched and Mulder pulled her close again, threading his fingers through her hair to cup the base of her skull. It had been a month since her cancer went into remission, and he’d visited her almost every day; he’d brought her flowers every visit when she was staying in the hospital, and continued to do so when she moved back into her apartment. That entire time, Mulder hadn’t talked about his burgeoning feelings for her, nor anything of much seriousness at all. Overwhelming Scully had been at the top of his list of things to avoid doing, and confessing his undying love for her along with a shift in his priorities because of that fell definitively on that list.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 31





	I’m Gonna Love You (Like I’m Gonna Lose You)

It was only a day since he last visited Scully, but when she pushed open the door to their office like Mulder knew she would, he couldn’t help but grin. He didn’t recall standing up, but there he was, standing on his feet, at a loss for words because Scully was back in the office, looking as healthy as he’d ever seen her, a matching grin on her face. Suddenly, as if his legs had just remembered what walking was, Mulder made his way over to his partner—in more things than work.

Scully barely managed to drop her bag on the floor beside her feet before he’d wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as if she could disappear at any moment. Her arms fit around Mulder’s waist and his around her shoulders as if they were made to fit together like puzzle pieces.

“It’s good to have you back, Dana,” Mulder whispered, face pressed into her soft hair. His eyes were closed as he tried to commit to memory what it felt like to hold Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully, M.D. in his arms. “I missed you.”

“‘Dana,’” she repeated softly, like she did when he used her first name after her father died, before pulling away from him enough to make eye contact. Except, this time, she was grinning, and the tears in her eyes were from palpable relief and joy. “I was never really gone, Mulder.”

Mulder brushed his thumb along her cheek, his other hand lingering at her waist, and told her, “But I thought I’d... I thought I’d lost the most important person in my life.” A tear trailed down his cheek.

“Mulder... Fox...” Scully started, and she got a watery laugh out of him like she intended.

“You are, you know. The most important person in my life. I mean, you’re the only person who hasn’t lied to me for stupid, messed-up reasons. I trust you. More than I trust anyone else.”

It was Scully’s turn for a tear to run down her cheek. Her breath hitched and Mulder pulled her close again, threading his fingers through her hair to cup the base of her skull. It had been a month since her cancer went into remission, and he’d visited her almost every day; he’d brought her flowers every visit when she was staying in the hospital, and continued to do so when she moved back into her apartment. That entire time, Mulder hadn’t talked about his burgeoning feelings for her, nor anything of much seriousness at all. Overwhelming Scully had been at the top of his list of things to avoid doing, and confessing his undying love for her along with a shift in his priorities because of that fell definitively on that list.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Mulder started softly, holding her to his body in a way that he hoped was comforting and not stifling, “and I know that this might not be the best time and place since we’re at work... But I need you to know this, Dana: you don’t ever have to hide from me. Whatever you feel at any time, it’s valid, and normal, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide and act strong. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I know I can be an ass but I promise to try and be a good...a good listener. I also want you to know that I love you. More than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. And not—not just as a friend, though I do love you like that. I love you as my partner in all things, not just work. I love you as my rock, my tether to the ground. I love you as my missing puzzle piece, Dana. You make me whole. I don’t know who I would be now if I’d lost you.”

Scully opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She didn’t have to say anything for Mulder to understand what she meant, though, and he just pressed kisses to her forehead, eyes, and cheeks in answer. When he was done, he went to pull away, but Scully pulled him back and pressed her lips to his, eventually nipping at his lower lip in a request of entry. Mulder granted it without hesitation, sucking in a shaky breath through his nose at the feel of Scully’s tongue exploring his mouth.

“Mmph,” she gasped when he pulled her against his growing erection, his hand slipping to her ass. “Mulder...” Scully nuzzled his newly-shaven cheek, catching her breath. “The door’s open.”

“Is that a yes or a no?” he teased, his hand moving from the base of her skull to her upper back, rubbing circles over her suit jacket and blouse.

“It’s a, ‘This is in violation of the FBI’s regulations on fraternization between partners,’” Scully replied, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before stepping away. She brought her finger to his mouth when he opened it, shushing him with a smile and a soft laugh. “I’m just going to lock the door, Mulder.”

His eyes tracked her movement as she casually walked over to the door to their office and shut it, the sound of the lock sliding into place a resounding noise. Scully slowly turned around and met Mulder’s gaze, raising an eyebrow at him.  _ How shall we do this? _ the motion asked.  _ Oh, _ what a delicious question; against the door, against the filing cabinet, her riding him in his chair, her riding him on the floor, or what he decided on: a variation of desk sex.

“Come here,” Mulder said, offering Scully his hand and pulling her to him when she placed her own in his palm.

He placed his hands on her waist as hers came together at the back of his neck, walking her backward between the chairs until her legs hit the desk. Gazing into Scully’s eyes, he leaned forward, causing her chest to brush against his and her pupils to increase in size. Mulder recklessly swept papers and files off his desk, gently tossing anything breakable onto the chairs, before hooking his hands underneath Scully’s thighs and depositing her on the desk.

“If someone told me five years ago that I’d fuck my partner on a desk in the basement, I would’ve called them crazy.” She parted her legs and pulled him close, his thighs bunching up her skirt.

“Maybe we’re the ones that are crazy, Scully.” Mulder pushed up her skirt the rest of the way, splaying his fingers across the skin of her thighs, covered by her hose. Meeting her gaze again, he knelt down on the floor, pulling Scully towards him until his breath ghosted over her hose- and panty-clad sex.

Just as Mulder was about to reach for the waistband of her hose and panties, her fingers pushed their way into his hair, angling his face to hers. “We should go out to dinner later,” Scully suggested, twisting a lock of his hair around her index finger.  _ I want to make this an official thing, _ she suggested.

“I might not want anything on the menu,” he murmured, pulling down her hose and panties as she flexed her feet out of her heels.  _ I want that, too, _ he answered.

Mulder trailed his fingers along the backs of her legs as he dragged the clothing items down, tossing them onto the back of one of the chairs before allowing himself to look at Scully’s sex. She was glistening slightly, the muscles of her thighs tensing with every breath of his that ghosted over her skin.

“Mulder,” she chastised, tightening her fingers in his hair and pulling his face forward.

He chuckled and spread her labia with his fingers, giving her a long, slow lick. Scully exhaled shakily and tentatively hooked her legs over Mulder’s shoulders, attempting to regulate her breathing in order to reduce noise. Ever-so-thoughtful, his Scully. He nuzzled her clit with his nose, careful to not touch it enough to offer real stimulation. Scully whined and wiggled her hips, causing his stubble to rub against the skin of her inner thighs.

Mulder hummed low in his throat, pressing his lips to her clit so she could feel the vibrations of his voice. Scully gasped and tightened her grip on his hair almost painfully before releasing her hold and petting his head in apology. He didn’t acknowledge the action, choosing to suck her clit in his mouth and toy with it like he was opening a sunflower seed. He’d fantasized about giving Scully oral until her voice was hoarse more times than he could count—it was frequent masturbation material—but that needed to be saved for another time. Mulder brought his fingers into the equation, coating them in her arousal before slowly pushing one inside her. He crooked his finger and rubbed it along her G-spot, enjoying the shiver the motion sent through her body.

Scully huffed out a laugh, letting her head fall back. “I always thought you’d be great at oral,” she managed, gently scratching his head with her perfectly manicured nails.

He pulled away for air, licking her arousal from his lips as he added another finger inside her vagina. Scully gasped, and Mulder smiled. “Those sunflower seeds aren’t just for snacking,” he told her, voice low, before going back to her sex.

He sucked her clit into his mouth again, earning a whine from Scully, and then gently tugged the sensitive bud with his teeth at the same time as he sharply crooked his fingers inside her. Her orgasm took her off guard, her back arching and her heels digging into his back as Mulder rode the waves of her arousal, trying to catch as much as he could with his lips and tongue, dragging it out. Scully gave one long moan and fell backward on the desk, supported by the new placement of her hands behind her.

“That was—it was—wow.” She laughed, catching her breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alive.” Scully looked down at him, her smile morphing into a smaller one, but which conveyed no less contentment—just more love. She unhooked her legs from over his shoulders and pulled him up by his tie. “Mulder, I—”

“Shhh...” he whispered, ghosting his thumb over her lips. “I meant it when I told you that you don’t have to say anything. I mean, God knows I spent maybe a third of my time apart from you during your cancer trying to figure out how to articulate how I felt, but you had more important things to worry about. I know what you mean. I think I always have.”

Scully smiled, tears collecting in her eyes as she brought her hands to his cheeks and stroked them. “I love you,” she told him, pulling his face close so that their foreheads were touching. After a tender moment, she reached down and undid his belt buckle, slowly pulling the leather through the loops of Mulder’s trousers. “I’ve always had a thing for desk sex.”

“I’ve always had a thing for  _ you _ ,” he replied, pressing a kiss to Scully’s lips as she slid his suit jacket over his shoulders, down his arms, and onto the floor.

She ventured her tongue into his mouth and any thought of speech promptly left Mulder’s head. His hands, which had found their place at Scully’s waist, mirrored her previous action and pushed her suit jacket onto the desk. They clumsily unbuttoned each other’s shirts through their tangle of lips, teeth, and arms, eventually completing the job.

“Leave it on,” she murmured when he tried to take her shirt off, too. Scully slid the straps of her now-exposed skin-colored bra down her arms and Mulder pulled the cups of her bra down enough to expose her breasts.

He watched the muscles of her abdomen contract as he cupped her breasts in his hands, taking in their weight before beginning to gently rub his thumbs in circles over her areolas. Scully sucked in a breath and exhaled, closing her eyes and hooking her ankles over his ass to pull him close. Mulder dragged his thumbs over her sensitive nipples, relishing in the small gasp the motions drew from her lips. Scully opened her eyes and their gazes met; she sat up and hooked her fingers through the waistband of his trousers and boxers, waiting a moment before yanking them down and letting them fall to his ankles. Mulder’s erection, now free, was angled towards her sex, and he smirked, pinching her nipples. Her head fell back with a gasp and a moan, her hands going back behind her to support her weight. Mulder leaned down and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, earning a choked moan from Scully.

“You have such nice tits,” he mumbled, moving to her other nipple.

She moaned and speared her fingers through his hair, keeping his face pressed to his chest. After a time spent suckling, nipping, and tugging at Scully’s breasts to a variety of reactions, Mulder kissed his way up to her lips, intense at first but fading into gentleness. He gasped when her hand closed around his cock, his forehead falling against her sternum as she pumped him a few times, tearing a broken moan from his lips.

“Scully,” Mulder managed to get out, causing her to pause in her ministrations. “I want to—”

“Yes, yes,” she answered, releasing his cock and rearranging herself on the desk slightly until she was comfortable. “Condom?”

“Uh...uh...” He fumbled around their clothes until he found his wallet in a pants pocket and pulled out a packaged condom, a relieved smile on his face. Mulder tore it open and carefully rolled it on, stepping back into Scully’s embrace, her legs wrapping around his hips.

They exhaled shakily, making eye contact before he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly entered her. Scully cupped his cheeks and kissed him, Mulder’s hands going to her hips as he bottomed out. He opened his mouth to say something—babble quiet words into her lips about how much he loved her, perhaps—but he was robbed of his breath when Scully purposely contracted herself around him using her abdominal muscles.

“Scuh-ly,” he managed on an exhale, pulling out and thrusting back in.

Mulder was rewarded with a gasp from her, and continued thrusting, simultaneously enjoying the experience of Scully exploring his mouth with her tongue once more. After a while, she started squirming, trying to stimulate her clit, so he reached between them and started rubbing the sensitive skin to the same rhythm he was thrusting in and out of her.

Scully ended their kiss with a gasp, her brows furrowed in arousal. “Ah! Mulder... Keep going. Feels good. So good. So so so—yes!—good.”

“You’re so damn sexy, Dana,” he mumbled, planting uncoordinated kisses along her jawline as he sped up his thrusts. “Before your cancer, I’d get distracted watching you bite your lip while you looked over reports with your glasses on. I couldn’t help but imagine you biting your lip while I ate you out, especially from under the table.” Mulder groaned, feeling the telltale signs of impending orgasm. “You close?”

“Yeah. Oh, yeah. So close, Mulder. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” Four more powerful thrusts and a pinch to her clit sent Scully hurtling into orgasm, Mulder only seconds behind. “Oh... Oh. Mulder...”

“Scully,” he murmured in response, his face tucked into her shoulder as the last vestiges of their orgasms faded. “That was... Uh... Bathroom?”

She laughed and nodded, accepting his hand down from the desk and his help as she pulled on her panties and hose before sliding on her heels. “I feel like ribs later. I know this place not too far that serves good ones,” Scully suggested, reminding Mulder of her earlier comment on going out for dinner.

“As long as the night ends at your place,” he agreed, pulling on his own clothes.

“I’ll make reservations.” Scully leaned up and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips.

Mulder had never felt more alive, either.


End file.
